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Strugglers: the homosexualist blind-spot? March 21, 2011

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Ex-Gay, Homosexualists.

Exodus International, a Christian organisation, has produced a smartphone app that has drawn predictable criticism from homosexualist quarters. According to David Allison of Outrage: “It creates the wrong attitude if you try to persuade people there is a choice and it can be cured like an ailment or an illness, as if you need to be. It isn’t: you are born with it, live with it and die with it.”

Allow me to give a voice to someone who would, in the homosexualist paradigm, be classed as “gay”, but whose opinions, feelings and preferences in life are considered by such campaigners as irrelevant. This is a comment from a young man on the StraightStruggle group:

Perhaps someone should tell David Allison that, conversely, he is creating the wrong attitude by telling people they are born with it, live with it and die with it.

The irony is that when it comes to people seeking growth and healing beyond homosexuality, people like him do not offer the same options for freedom of choice and expression that he would demand for those like himself who wish to embrace the homosexual lifestyle.  It’s completely hypocritical.  In a society where I can legally pay for a sex change, drink my liver out and have unprotected sex with a stranger – the same evil forces that would support such behaviours would prevent me from seeking psychological growth into my existing biological potential.

David Allison, you were born with the potential to make sperm, you live your life making sperm, and you will die making sperm.  Do you think your body’s trying to tell you something? 😉

Why do the gays hate the ex-gays so much?  What deep nerve is our presence striking that makes them so vicious in condemning us?

It’s a damn good question.



Double standard on transgender? May 17, 2007

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Ex-Gay, Homosexualists.

Randy Thomas of Exodus made an interesting point: 

It’s always astounded me how willing some in the gay activist community are to celebrate someone surgically altering their body to “become” who they perceive to be internally.  Yet when I determine I want to reorient my sexual orientation, which does not require drastic surgery or body altering drugs, according to those same activists, I am the one doing damage to myself and others by simply holding to a particular worldview that brings me contentment and sexual reorientation.  The transgendered are applauded for radically altering their bodies while I am scolded for holding the belief that I would be happier living out who I truly am regardless of my past life as a gay identified man.  It’s ok for someone to ignore what they were obviously born as but for people like me … we are told being “gay” is genetic and should be embraced because we have no other option. 

Read on: The Transgender Double Standard

People who use the “ex-gay” description for themselves (we don’t!) can also appeal to their rights. The post above reminds me of something I wrote questioning the links made between L, G, B and T. Do read it and respond!

Why change? Our survey says… July 14, 2006

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Ex-Gay.

Just thought I’d point readers in the direction of this interesting survey done by People Can Change, which found “personal values” among the top reasons for people to try and rid themselves of SSA, while the bottom of the pile was “outside pressure from others”.

Survey on Factors Motivating Desire to Change

We’re not “ex-gay” April 4, 2006

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Concepts, Ex-Gay, Queer Muslims, Responses.

There are various people, including from religious backgrounds, who, becoming dissatisfied with the homosexual lifestyle, or rejecting it outright without acting on their same-sex attractions (SSA), take on the label “ex-gay“. For some people, that makes sense, in that they have lived the “gay” life and have since turned away. We just found that we have been added to a list of “ex-gay blogs”, even though we don’t identify ourselves that way!

Mujahid Mustaqim, founder of StraightWay, has always avoided this term, along with all the other eggs in the “orientationist” basket. Using words like “ex-gay” or even “heterosexual” are just as mistaken as using “gay”, “lesbian”, “bisexual” etc., if we maintain the philosophical position that people should not be categorised according to feelings, and that “sexual orientation” is an arbitrary (and mistaken) way of describing the empirical facts (which include that some people experience SSA to one degree or another).

Saying that you are “ex-gay” is, in a sense, admitting to having been once “gay”, i.e. affirming that such an identity is legitimate to speak of. Again, I say that while plenty of people hold that view, our understanding of Islam and its worldview leads us to the conclusion that SSA are not intrinsic to identity, and that in general, people should not be put into boxes according to whom they’re attracted to.

If we consider being “gay” as a whole package of feelings, actions and lifestyle, then using the term “ex-gay” can make sense but have a rather negative feel to it (why define yourself by your past?). If it refers just to feelings/attractions, then when does an “ex-gay” truly become “ex”? Not everyone overcomes their feelings completely; probably most people just can’t.

So, we disagree respectfully with the name choice of the person who set up the Ex-Gay Muslims discussion group, but it’s a good place to go for a chat anyway.