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Ibn al-Qayyim on desires and destinations January 1, 2011

Posted by Rasheed Eldin in Advice.

Unlawful desires are usually associated with ugliness. They leave behind a lingering sensation of pain and guilt. Hence, whenever you are tempted, think about liberating yourself. Think about all the remorse that would accompany the realization of those desires, and then make up your mind. Struggling your way through obedience is not an easy task. It is, however, associated with goodness and soothing pleasures. Whenever you overburden yourself (with unlawful desires) think about how nice it would be to repent and set yourself free. Think about the pleasures that lawful desires will provide and try to make the correct choice. The dilemma you will experience should be reduced by remembering the sweet pleasure and the ultimate happiness that your obedience (to Allah) will provide. Logically, your mind should opt for the more rewarding option and help you to endure the pain of denying yourself the realization of such desires.

Taken from Al-Fawa’id of Imam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah.

Quoted in the following article: Gay, Struggling and in Need of Help



1. Muslimah - January 14, 2011

Jazakallah khair for this website, please keep it up – it shows who we Muslims are, not condemning homosexuals for being who they are but instead helping them to overcome this problem.

It’s great to see at least one out there who doesn’t distort Islam for the sake of modernity but is also tolerant and understanding of struggling gays.

2. Ayah - January 22, 2011

Assalam aleikum,
I don’t know how I came across this website. I am not gay but happily married, alhamdulillah. I just wanted to give a word of encouragment to my brothers and sisters dealing with these urges. I commend you for trying your best to live according to Allah’s law and not giving int to secular society that tells you you can do anything you want. May Allah help you all deal with this insha’Allah. I know for a fact that true happiness is only found in closeness with Allah. I am sure that many of you have experienced the sweetness of faith in your hearts. There is nothing in this dunya that compares to it! So when you find yourself struggling remember this and increase your worship so that Allah sends His soothing peace into your hearts.
May Allah bless you all.

3. inada01 - December 26, 2011

“Unlawful desires are usually associated with ugliness. They leave behind a lingering sensation of pain and guilt. ”

That’s right, but who decides which one is unlawful and which one is not? You’re really making yourself miserable by conforming to some rules that is made hundreds years ago..

I’m not saying that the way your thinking is wrong, I’m not mocking why you believe it or how you believe it, but let’s step outside for a moment. Pretend that you’re not a muslim, and you’re looking at Islam with the same level of pessimistic as you are now looking at other things you don’t believe (such as secularism, atheism, christianism, etc..)
Can you do that? Can you be objective in looking at Islam?
I’m pretty sure you’re gonna look at things differently the way I am now..

I’m an ex-muslim, by the way, and you might be taken aback by this fact and you might not gonna believe for whatever I say, but as a ‘friend’, I am gay by the way, and I felt so miserable living as a gay muslim. As a solidarity among gay men (and you might not wanna care whether i’m gay or not or you think this solidarity is BS, but I’m gonna do it anyway). I know how it feels like to want to be accepted by people. by your friends, by your family, and especially by god. The God..

Who wouldn’t wanna be love by god, the God.. the only thing that’s good and true in this world.. God.. Who wouldn’t wanna?
I wouldn’t.. But here’s how my life changed.. I kept looking and looking and find nothing.. It’s sad. But, it prepared me for something that I never thought before… What if.. That question. I dare to ask that question because I was so unhappy.

What if..

What if Muhammad told lies.. What if, it’s not the right god. What if it’s not The God..
What if he’s not telling the truth? Then you’ll know why Muhammad marry a 9 year old girl. You’ll know why women’s testimony in court is less worth it than men’s. You’ll know why he said that hell is full with women. You’ll finally put together all the dangling questions about some verses in qur’an that doesn’t quite right…

Just ask what if……

Rasheed Eldin - December 26, 2011

Hello Inada, we generally don’t approve messages that simply call for people to leave Islam, but you’ve made some more thoughtful points here. To reply in brief, human beings have an instinct that leads them to many right moral conclusions, but our limited minds can’t figure out everything that is best for the individual and society, in the short and long term, in this life and the next. That is why we trust the revelation from our Creator.

You once believed this, but things changed. Perhaps that had a lot to do with sexuality, but that’s your business. What we try to emphasise on this site is that leaving the faith is not the way. Any questions you might have, you can address to the right people and have them answered. Just abandoning it all isn’t the meaning of being “objective”. I pray that you find your way back to the way of success.

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