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Struggling Against Homosexuality, Finding Islam September 19, 2007

Posted by Mujahid Mustaqim in Islam, Stories.

IslamOnline.net (or rather, its subsite ReadingIslam.com) has once again led the way by featuring the story of Ayub, a brother who embraced Islam after a period of life in which he actively practised homosexuality. His journey is inspirational and his advice is of great value to anyone who wants to understand the path of Islam, which is also the path of self-understanding, life discipline and inner peace.

Ayub is someone we have great pleasure to know, and we ask Allah to reward him abundantly for putting his experiences out there for a wide audience to encounter.

Struggling Against Homosexuality, Finding Islam

By Ayub

[And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.] (Ad-Duha 93:7)

Homosexuality has become one of the most widely discussed social issues of our day. Some communities around the world are embracing and accepting its practice.

More and more societies are making room for those who are convinced that God made them gay and that they have no choice but to accept it. This has even begun happening within the Muslim community.

I am telling my story because I found a different path. I am an American man who through Allah’s grace was able to loosen the grip of same-sex attractions and find my way out of the homosexual lifestyle.

I did this by embracing Islam.

I want to share my story, not to fan the flames of any political debate, but because I believe it could be a source of help and comfort to Muslim men and teenagers who want to leave same-sex attractions behind.

I also pray that my words might provide guidance to the families of those who are struggling.

My Story

For all of my adult life I have struggled with attractions to other men. The attractions began during my early teenage years and strengthened over time. I finally gave in to these urges in college and embraced a homosexual lifestyle.

I lived as an openly gay man for five years and had many same sex experiences.

I embraced this lifestyle because I thought this was who I was. It was a mystery to me exactly where these attractions came from.

Anyone struggling with same-sex attractions feels this at some point. The attractions are so deep-seated and arise in such an uninvited way that they seem beyond our conscious control.

At a certain point, in order to live with ourselves, many of us begin to accept these feelings as normal. And we start demanding that others accept them in us as well.

But I soon discovered that there was another way to see this. While living as a gay person, I was also searching for answers.

All my life I felt I was destined to find something more, something special that would better explain who I was and why I was here. The Christian religion I was raised in never really satisfied that yearning.

During and after college I also explored Buddhism, Hinduism and non-religious forms of meditation. None of them did it for me.

Then when I was 25 I had a life-changing experience that led me to Islam. It suddenly became clear to me that what I had been seeking had a name: Allah, that all-encompassing Grace that had created me and everyone and everything else.

Allah, that Light, that same Light, which spoke and continues to speak to man through His Messenger (PBUH) and all His other prophets.

Allah, that Resonance, that same Resonance, that has been delivering His message to mankind since the beginning of time.

It also became clear that in order to follow the path to Allah, I would have to give up the homosexual lifestyle. It was shown to me through several experiences, both internal and external, that homosexuality was wrong and that continuing to practice it would block my spiritual progress.

I didn’t fully understand why at the time. I had to accept it on faith. But I knew deep inside that this was the truth.

Several difficult years followed, but my determination to become free of same-sex attractions was strong. By Allah’s grace I was first able to cut all external ties to my previous life. I also learned, little by little, how to control the urges that kept drawing me back to what was haram.

To this day I am still vulnerable to these attractions in weaker moments. But I had only one more experience after embracing Islam. That was nearly twenty years ago. It was the last one I will ever have.

How I See My Struggle

After years of struggling, the battle has become easier. I have come to see same-sex attractions not as a curse, but as an opportunity.

Some people work for years to figure out how they can serve Allah. For me this question was answered a long time ago: control same-sex attractions and share what you have learned.

I have come to think of my life this way: whatever else happens, if I can stay free of this craziness and perhaps help others become free, I will have found success in the central jihad of my life.

Others may not agree with the approach I have taken, and that’s fine. But for those who are struggling, I offer these words from my own experience: You don’t have to settle for a life that is contrary to what Allah has prescribed for us. You don’t have to accept a definition of yourself that is compromised or any less than what He has ordained for you as a Muslim.

And most of all, you don’t have to live with the shame of rejection by your family, friends and peers. There is another way, and there are brothers (and sisters) out there who can help you, as they themselves have been helped.

Tips and Techniques

Here are some techniques that I and others have found helpful in controlling same-sex attraction.

1) Make the intention to change. You have to want to change, and you have to believe that you can. Allah is there to help you, but you have to make the intention first.

Ask Him with all the sincerity you can muster to help you battle this thing inside.

Develop the certitude that this is your own personal jihad, and make a commitment to Allah and to yourself that you will see it through to the end, no matter what happens.

2) Cut off all associations with friends and activities associated with “being gay.” Do not underestimate the power of outside trappings and “friends” who will pull you back in.

Make a clean break, it will help immensely in your struggle.

3) Develop strong, healthy male friendships. Put yourself in the company of guys who are NOT same-sex attracted and learn how to get along with them. This process can be difficult at first, but ultimately it is essential. It demystifies other men, cutting the tendency to see them as objects.

4) Do regular Salat and Dhikr. Read the Qur’an. As Allah and His Messenger have said over and over, there is special power in prayer. That extends to controlling base desires of all kinds.

5) Get some help. Seek out counseling with a professional who respects your decision NOT to indulge in same-sex experiences. Or join a support group.

StraightStruggle is an online group that caters exclusively to Muslims who are battling same-sex attraction and their families. It is a safe, private and compassionate environment to address all issues relating to this struggle.

A Word to Family and Friends

Finally, a note for family members of brothers and sisters dealing with same-sex attraction. Compassion, love and understanding are the best medicine for anyone struggling to control same-sex attraction.

You need to have patience beyond patience and do your best to reserve judgment.

In my experience, people are best able to learn and change behaviors when given the love, support and space in which to do so.



1. Editor @ IJTEMA - September 19, 2007

Assalamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullah
I pray that you are in the best of health & imaan.
This is a short message to notify you that this entry has been selected for publishing on IJTEMA, a venture to highlight the best of the Muslim blogosphere.
To find out more about IJTEMA, and how you can further contribute, please click here.
May Allah bless you for your noble efforts.

2. Muslim First - September 23, 2007

I appreciate that commentary by the brother Ayub, there are many of us that struggle with same-sex attractions and his advice is on point.

3. Adnan - October 6, 2007

At the very least, this blog is well written. A refreshing change. My homosexuality led me to a different direction. I grew up in Pakistan, studied Islam (as a subject) for 12 years, read the Quran, and for a certain period tried to become a devout Muslim. Almost succeeded.

From age 17-21 I tried the ex-gay thing. It was with an online Christian based ministry at the time, I just ignored the Jesus-is-the-son-of-God bit, and tried to follow their regimens to combat same-sex attraction.

Somewhere, along the line though, I went to the US and learned those decadent Western concepts like moral relativism. Read about religion as a natural construct, and came across the Christian-right, which almost matches Muslim dogma.

I appreciate the effort you’re making here. An alternative view is always welcomed. If someone wants to try the ex-gay thing, in an attempt to please a God, who in all probability may not exist, then its up to them. They have the right to seek that, just I have the right to seek what I want.

In a secular state, I have no problem with what you write, because your arguments while seemingly coherent from an Islamic moral-framework, have little credence when scrutinized from the outside. In a theocratic state, like what Pakistan is sadly about to become, your arguments can spread intolerance. Stoning to death is so very humane. God loves his creation after all.

Keep up the “good work” though. While I may not agree with a word of what you say, I’m willing to die for your right to say it.

4. Rasheed Eldin - October 7, 2007

Thanks Adnan, though your message was quite a mixed one. You’re right in that we basically restrict our discourse to the Islamic framework, and it is a wider project (and not ours at this blog) to show the relevance of that system for the world today. Our main concern here is to lay out the Islamic perspective on sexuality as attractions and actions, and refute pseudo-intellectual attempts to normalise homosexuality within Muslim religion or societies.

By the way, we don’t use the term “ex-gay” to refer to our endeavour, and you can read why here:

Living in a basically secular society myself, I understand what you mean when you say you respect the right of people to seek personal change while affirming your own right to embrace a homosexual lifestyle (if that’s indeed what you did). From what you wrote, I reckon that you’ll understand when I point out that your concept of “rights” is bound-up within the paradigm you choose to speak within. For if we Muslims are correct, in what sense will you affirm this “right” before God on Judgement Day? Indeed He has given us freedom to choose our actions, but this freedom is not without ultimate accountability.

One final point: I believe that effective dialogue must begin with acknowledging what we do agree with and can agree on, so that the points of disagreement can be explored on that basis. We should never speak as though we have 100% disagreement with another person, for how possible is that in reality?

5. khabir - October 7, 2007


There is a big difference between being clear about what Allah (swt) has said about homosexuality and spreading intolerance.

Unless I’m missing something, no one associated with this blog is casting aspersions on anyone’s choice of lifestyle. I don’t see anyone here attacking people who choose to embrace homosexuality.

Rather, the intent is to refute the arguments of those who want to justify that lifestyle by changing the basic tenets of Islam. That it is not intolerance, it is standing up for what is correct.

It’s a subtle but important distinction.

6. Bravvooo! - October 10, 2007

Khabir, I’m not sure if the distinction is a genuine one.

Islam is quite prescriptive about the finest details of one’s behaviour. If you truly believe that your god forbids this lifestyle then the obligation on you would be to ‘enjoin good and forbid evil’.

In an Islamic state, practical implications follow naturally from jurisdiction. I hope that if such a state ever materializes, it will come long after all the misconceptions that are so hardwired into our religion have been deconstructed by rational debate.

Remember, without God we have none but each other. If that doesn’t make sense to you then maybe you’d realise that it would be exceptionally hard to sell your case to those whose moral values focus purely on the human being. No abstract supernatural punches to confuse things. Huamnistic values seem transcend most religions’ primitive concepts of right and wrong.The simple reason is that thier ‘moral frameworks’ seem to lose focus on the same creatures that these morals concern.

7. khabir - October 12, 2007

Bravo, thanks for your response.

I do believe that Allah (swt) forbids this lifestyle for believers. And I agree with you: because of my belief I have an obligation to enjoin good and forbid evil. I do that within myself, to the best of my ability, every day. I fight my own ssa. It’s my jihad.

In fact I keep so busy doing that, I frankly don’t have time to go around condemning people who have made a different choice. Fighting ssa* and tolerating people who don’t fight it are not mutually exclusive. They are two different things.

I can’t speak for the people who run Islamic states. But surely you aren’t suggesting that because there is a cultural tendency to use flawed or inhumane ways of “enjoining and forbidding” we should forget or change what Allah (swt) has commanded of us as believers.

Finally, to your point about humanism. Okay, take God out of the equation for a minute. I would argue that fighting ssa actually leads to a better quality of life, and a greater good, than indulging it.

By fighting ssa, you learn restraint, patience, self-control and compassion for others who are struggling with unwanted feelings and addictions. In practice, these qualities benefit not only you, but the community at large. These qualities make room for others and help build bridges.

By indulging ssa, you learn how to focus more on yourself and satisfy your own lust and desires. What is the benefit to greater community – aside from forcing everyone else to learn how to tolerate you and make room for your needs?

*[NB: By “fighting ssa” I of course mean fighting it within oneself, not fighting anyone or anything outside. For those of us who battle this, it is an internal struggle, one that in the end yields great personal rewards.]

8. Bravvooo! - October 13, 2007

Thanks Khabir for your response.

I think you make a good case for struggling against promiscuous behaviour in general be it homosexual or heterosexual. However at what cost to society would a committed and long lasting relationship between two members of the same sex come at?

On the contrary, couples would benefit from the emotional stability , companionship and combined incomes. Look at it from every angle and you see that such a relationship would be of immense benefit to the individuals, and by extension, to society as a whole.

I trust my heterosexual friends when they sing the praises of married life. However I think that they are as prone to promoiscuous tendencies as any other red blooded being. The catch is that with the assurance of the option of matrimony no one has to struggle unnecessarily with the curse of a lonesome and firgid life of a bachelor’s. Moreover noone has to go through the outrageously contemptible rejection of one’s own thought and composition as when people try to switch their sexuality.

That is I think is why the gay activists ring the alarms when people claim to have succeeded in changing your sexuality. I suppose that aggression would not be justified in a secualr sense but we know that the sad fact that such what lies behind such a conversion is an ugly coercion by the ugly face of religious pointlessness.

The logic of vilifying homosexual relationships in principle falls apart completely from a secular point of view leaving us perpelxed with the wisdom behind the difficulties that the religious enjoy subjecting themselves to. To me it seems to border on the pathological. To others it certainly has. It is only when this cascade of self humility and piety hits the notes of pure evil, as when terrorist inclinations become manifest, that we sober up and think that this excercise in self restraint has to be restrained as well.

It is as if life is not already full of more substantiative stresses through illness, natural catastrophes and the horrid wars and violence form a species that is truly ‘half a chromosome away from Chimpanzees’ as the modern saying goes.

9. khabir - October 15, 2007

Dear Bravoo,

Hey, I said I take God out of the question for a minute, and I meant it. That minute is over for me now. I hope you will understand.

I am not prepared to debate social policy based on a secular humanist philosophy. To do so would take us far afield from our original discussion – and I daresay beyond the scope of this blog.

I am a Muslim, I accept what Allah has said about homosexuality, I fight my ssa and I live my life accordingly. I speak up to address what I see as misperceptions or misunderstandings about Islam and ssa. Here the issue was a perceived relationship between fighting ssa and encouraging intolerance. I made my point as clearly as I can. I think that discussion is over.

For the record, I do not feel I am the victim of “an ugly coercion by the ugly face of religious pointlessness.” If I did, I would not have chosen, and continue to chose, to fight my ssa. I have already described the rewards I reap from this internal battle – the priceless qualities of patience, self-control and compassion. My life has been enriched beyond measure by fighting this fight and I thank Allah for the privilege.

Take care, peace be with you. Thanks for taking the time to talk some of this out.

10. Bravvooo! - October 15, 2007

Very well, will leave it there.

I’ll be back to contest any further attempts to limit the rights of others (such as limiting the definition of marriage) in the name of unreasonable personal conviction.

A bien tout

11. life4life - October 18, 2007

I just finished reading the article by Ayub which was posted by Mujahid Mustaqim. I like the way Ayub narrated his journey. However, I am conserced about some of the things he mentioned in his article. One of the thing is that ” Cut off all associations with friends and activities associated with “being gay”. Does it mean any one who has same sex attaction ,even who is a struggler like Ayub. I personally think if I cut off my relationship with 1 or 2 really good friend who are happen to be gay, that might have adverse effect. I believe he meant random gay friend not good gay friend. I have friends who respect my wishes and values and they happen to be gay. not may just 2 i know.just friend.He also said that “Develop strong, healthy male friendships. Put yourself in the company of guys who are NOT same-sex attracted and learn how to get along with them”. I have more friend who does not have same sex attaction and sometimes they find me little different than them which makes me more uncomfortable sometimes when i am around them. It is not about my being like other man or anything, it more like my being of little sensitive and emotional I guess. I had friend who made joke of me just because I am little different. If you know what I mean. It makes it more hard for me to meet with those guys. I can pretend for an hour but not for a day continuously with them. there is nothing to do with same sex attraction, i am also little different than other guys. So I think the support for change is I think I can get more from my other friends who are also struggling. I agree with Ayub in the most part but I am not completely agreeing with his way of doing things.

12. khabir - October 19, 2007


You make a good point about finding support in friends who are fighting the same battle, friends who are also struggling against same sex attractions. They can help a lot.

Perhaps the brother didn’t know anyone like that when he began his struggle.

13. GIBRAN - December 13, 2007

Why do homosexuals think that they are any different then anyone else who struggles. Life is full of struggles for all individuals.
i do not mean to be disrespectful when i say this so please read on. Like a pedophile… who cannot control his urges to have sex with children, like a serial rapist who feels an overwhelming need to satisfy his sexual desires by raping woman/men… One step further like a murderer who you may ask why did you do it?, and they say they do not know, they just had this urge. This urge i am referring to is not just a homosexual problem, many individuals suffer the need to do something haram. In some cases an overwhelming need. Allah (SWT) DID NOT make you this way, do not even consider this excuse. Look into any religon you wish, Hinduism, Buddism included, every religon condems the ACT of homosexuality as wrong. Note i specify the ACT, because there is no “harm” persay between a heterosexual urge to have sex with his girlfriend and the urge to have homosexual sex, rather the act of doing each is what makes it a sin. Nobody is born a rapist, nobody is born is a muderer, nobody is born homosexual. Yes i will agree that this urge is not a normal mainstream urge, and thus there is more burden on an individual with a behaviorial deviancy. But know this, it is a battle that every individual fights in one way or another. A murderer makes the same excuse, so does a pedophile, and a rapist, a heterosexual who has premarital sex… The excuse i couldnt control myself. You are allowing yourself to do major Haram by thinking you have no control.

Id like to clarify something though, do not get depressed and think why am I this way. Why is God testing me this way as Allah(SWT) know your struggle, and he know how much you are struggling for him, and he has a reward justified for your struggle. Try and change yourself, what your suffering with is nothing more then a behaviorial issue. Who knows how a murderer becomes a murderer, why pedophiles like children, but dont look for excuses, istead make the neccessary changes in your life so that life becomes easier for you. Push yourself away from any associations with homosexual people as this is the first step in solving your problem. Soon life will takeover and your homosexual thoughts will disappear into the background. That is where you want to keep these thoughts, because i do not claim that these thoughts will ever completely leave, but remember this EVERY INDIVIDUAL SUFFERS FROM SOME SORT OF HARAM URGE, ALL HARAM URGES ARE THE SAME, JUST DONT ACT ON THEM. For some the urges are less destructive and less sinful when acted upon, for others like same sax attracted individuals the urges maybe stronger but this is your personal fight. A fight the Allah (SWT) will Insha’Allah reward you for many times as he knows your struggle. Do not give up, you have to fight your urges because that is all homosexuality is, an Urge….

14. achmat - December 13, 2007

Salaam brothers…i am 17 years old and homo. Ive been cursed with this burning desire to lust after men. Ive been depressed and suicidal for over a year now. I went to 2 psychiatrists for many appointments and an imam who gave me hope and enlightment, but the feeling of happiness only lasted about a week and i was once again back to square one. Im addicted to pornography,masturbation, male celebrities, have a low self esteem and lack confidence and utterly afraid of the outside world. About 8 people know this. I want my life taken away from me, i don’t deserve it. There are time when i want to change but i once again become the evil person…i just wish i wasnt like this to start with. I mean i never asked to like other men, all my friends like women, including my brother but me. I feel like an outsider in my own home, family and school, a loner with no hope whatsoever for the future, a future of shattered dreams and tears. I’m lost …

abdul - May 30, 2012

I know this reply is quite late but i would say please dont lose hope, because Allah is not unaware of your suffering. I would also discourage any suicidal tendancies because that wont make things better, it will only make your afterlife difficult. I hope nothing bad has happend to you by now brother, because you seemed dangerously desperate. What really help you is establishing a strong connection with Allah through prayer as this will give you internal strenght, also try and fast on mondays and thursdays as this will break down your strong urges and bring them under control, lastly avoid being alone often with the computer as shaytan will tempt you, try to be around family as much as you can as this will make you feel better. Allah help you brother your not alone, keep up the fight against shaytan.

15. ahmed - December 19, 2007

u say you were about 25 years old when u became muslim… and then u say u had ur last gay-sex, after being muslim, 20 years ago

this makes you 45+ years old … NO WONDER… you dont get much sextual urges anyway when ur that old for guys or girls =_= ….

i am a muslim and gay and i do want to change and i dont think that it is that simple as this artical puts it.

i think this artical is fake… it is hard enough for muslim gays to give up thier sextuality… let alone A NON-MUSLIM GAY MAN become muslim and then give up his sextuality… very hard to believe

16. Taleb Haqq - December 22, 2007

Thank you for your comment. The reason for the need to bring this out in the open is that there are people out there deceiving Muslims into believing that homosexual relationships are OK in Islam.

Achmat, you may want to join the Straight Struggle group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle which is for Muslims that are dealing with same-sex attractions and are helping each other through them.

Ahmad, Where do you get your biology lessons from? Male sexual urges do NOT stop at “45” years old. As for br. Ayub being “fake” well I’ll tell you this much, I have come to know br. Ayub personally, so, in my opinion YOU are fake, YOU might not even be a Muslim for that matter .. [get my point?]…and it’s spelled “article” not artical.

If you are serious about change or learning how to deal with your same-sex attractions you may want to join the Straight Struggle group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle

It would do you good to stop being cynical.

17. Bravvooo! - December 22, 2007

Hi everyone. Said I’d be back.

Gibran wrote:

“….i do not mean to be disrespectful when i say this so please read on. Like a pedophile… who cannot control his urges…”

A fallacy of equivocation. Rape, pederasty and murder involve an act of unwillfull subjugation. See the difference?

“nobody is born homosexual”

I was.

By the way it doesn’t matter if someone tells you that they are born murderers or rapists. Just like alcoholims, these antisocial urges may even be genetically determined. It doesn’t matter, we will still lock them up. It is the harmfull effects on society that define crime.

“The excuse i couldnt control myself.”

You mean the excuse that ” I couldn’t let others control me”.

18. woman - December 28, 2007


This is fantastic, its things I have said and thought for so long. We all have urges, but does that mean that from now on, we will have have rights for pedophiles, murderers, drug addicts, bulimics and rapists? If we allow the homo community to continue infesting our society, then we are no better then when Plato’s people awoke from their stupor. Besides we have the best book behind us to motivate and ignite the right path. The Q’uran.

I can not say enough about how eloquently you put everything into perspective. I apologize but I am sick literally sick to my stomach to hear or read the word Gay. Things need to change. I know that anthropology and natural selection says that the reason men are becoming gay is to even out society, however I dream that this population becomes less and less worldwide, so that we can focus all those negative urges into progressing life, combating poverty, strengthening religion and human bond.

I applaud this different point of view.
I am not homophobic as I have acquaintances who I care for, but I don’t approve, or want to know of their lued behaviors.

A woman.
U are what u want. U don’t have to submit, u don’t. There is change.

19. Bravvooo! - January 2, 2008

A woman

You are definitely homophobic. And if you show your acquainatnces that you care for them and then come here to liken their acts to rapists and murderers then you are a hypocrite.

Anyway you don’t have to approve of ‘leud behaviors’ but are all homosexuals promsicuous? I’m not. In fact I’m culturally muslim so I respect the code of decency. If you allowed (even though you have no right to rob others of their human rights) gays to get married maybe they won’t have to be as promiscuous as they are.

Moreover since when was Bulimia is a sin!

Is there no one (besides Rasheed) who can talk us out of homosexuality and be reasonable at the same time? Why do we have to be so blunt and intlellectually inept to the degree where we can’t make a simple distinction between a murderer/rapist and a person who has a sexual preferrence to the same sex!!!! This is depressing.

20. 2 - January 28, 2008

So how do we solve this? Can it be solved? I suffer with this homosexuality thing we are all talking about. Who do we talk to how do we get help.
Committment is one thing and I wish i can wake up one morning and say ok today is when im going ot start and commit on living a straight lifestyle.
I feel like this male to male attraction is to strong. Im overpowered by it. I fell in love with a boy and i had to end it cause i felt like i was committing a sin. And now i live in pain and heartache maybe its better than what is to come in the after life. Maybe the simple answer to all of this is just dont ever get into a relationship with the same sex. But unfortunately I did. I am not sure what to think anymore. Deep down in my heart i know i am doing something wrong.
Does homosexuality make us evil? I’m lost and am looking for answers. I dont know!
Please Allah help us! I’m tired of this pain and tears.
Im looking for some support and help anyone synthboi@yahoo.com.

21. khabir - January 31, 2008

For 2:

Brother, the group mentioned in the article at the top of this thread is an excellent resource. Insha’Allah you will find the support and many of the answers you are seeking there.


All the best to you in your search. May Allah be your guide.

22. brravooo! - February 1, 2008

I never noticed this
Gibran wrote “This urge i am referring to is not just a homosexual problem, many individuals suffer the need to do something haram.”

I am not aware of any paedophile, rapist or serial murderer who claims that they can’t live without their “urges”. Even if they do then the consequeces of their actions, the inflictment of hurt to a vulnerable being, precludes the possibility that anyone will sympathize with their “emotional needs”.

In fact it is such a completely different kettle of fish it beggars belief that an analogy with homosexual instincts is so carelessly made over and over again.

23. theinnereye - February 4, 2008

it is interesting that all loving and merciful are words applied to allah yet very little love and mercy are being displayed by his followers attitude to homosexuality which is older then any current religious order like Islam and Christianity .All it seems to create is pain alienation,fear and uncertainty in individuals who are gay and would still like to follow their faith.A truly loving god would support and have the understanding to embrace all his children because he is supposed to be god ,ALL LOVING?
These ideas of none sexual integration into religion smack more of human insecurities then godly creation.
If god was against homosexuality why would most of the animals he created in the animal kingdom display homosexual behavior?Unless it is something he is happy with and accepting of and it is human stupidity that has created this myth.
To all you gay muslims accept yourself and sexual life style with happiness god will always love you and embrace you even on judgment day .

24. Rasheed Eldin - February 5, 2008

Innereye, your ideas are very incoherent. First of all, do you even believe in God? If not, what makes you think yourself ‘qualified’ to pontificate so? Let alone make a declaration of what will happen on Judgement Day?

25. random - February 25, 2008

Haha well said, I am very impressed with this article, and pray for all the “mujahids” out there, I had no idea this was such a pressing issue these days, until someone really close to me decided to disclose that he was considering a homosexual lifestyle. Now I am so confused and will do anything to bring him back to the Straight Path!

26. TM - March 25, 2008

Hello/Salam to all,

I just finished reading this article and I have to say that I was very touched. I have been dealing with this issue for years now, although it has been an on-and-off thing. When I was young (prob around 9 or 10yrs old), my cousin and I were in the swimming pool together at a friend’s house. I don’t remember how it led to it, but we eventually started showing each other one another’s private parts. Then he touched my private area (outside of my swimming trunks). I think a few days later he came to my house and we were in my room. We created these kind of “movie scenes” where I would lie on the bed and he would come over and then rub my private area (again, outside of my shorts). This happened a few times that day.

The feelings of attraction to males has been getting stronger for me in the past 6 months or so. What’s even worse is that I feel like my feelings are being directed toward my best friend. He is such a great person and is someone that I always prayed that Allah would bring into my life; a friend that would be from the same background as me and would always be there for me. But recently I have found that those male attraction feelings have been heading toward him. This is absolutely driving me insane. I’ve been crying in spurts for the past couple days because I am so confused and I don’t want these feelings to be there. When I read this article I couldn’t help but tear up because this was the first time I had ever read another Muslim man (or any Muslim for that matter) talk about this issue. I always felt like I was alone. I’ve been weak and have given into looking at male pornography and I think that has been making my situation worse. This is not a lifestyle that I want for myself AT ALL and that is why I am trying to reach out for help. I have been seeing a counselor at my university for the past few weeks, but I don’t feel I have been getting a whole lot out of it. I know I have not been keeping up with my prayers and thinking about Islam everyday, but I consider myself a moderate Muslim that strongly believes in the fundamentals of Islam. I believe in Allah and after reading these responses, I am truly hoping that this is a test that Allah is putting me through and I pray to Allah almighty that I will be okay in the end. I sincerely ask that anyone out there pray for me because things have been so hard for me having to deal with this while being in college and soon to look for full-time work; It’s a lot to deal with at one time.

If anyone has any guidance for me I would appreciate it more than you know. I will explore this StraightStruggle group as well. Thank you.

27. bravvooo - March 27, 2008

Time kills all crushes. No matter how strong or overwhelming.

28. Greg - April 16, 2008

Very interesting. Here’s another perspective: Muslims are no different than any other society in which men and women are separated. Anthropologists have been reporting on this phenomenon for about 100 years. The schizophrenia of Islam is that whereas homosexual activity is more common and quite natural in sex separated societies, Islam condemns the practice. Why are so many Muslim men filled with a hate that drives them to kill themselves as well as many others? There are many reasons, but one of them is certainly the fact that they hate themselves for engaging in a perfectly normal act that is condemned by their religion, a religion in which they deeply believe. Killing the “enemies of Allah” purges them of their “sin.” Muslim morality is about where Christianity was 500 years ago. We just have to hope that the human race can hold out until Islam grows up.

29. Rasheed Eldin - April 16, 2008

Greg, so your learned conclusion is that people who make themselves into human bombs are mainly just frustrated because they’re secretly homosexual? That’s one of the most puerile, bankrupt theories I’ve ever heard, and believe me I’ve heard plenty!

30. Taleb Haqq - April 17, 2008

Greg, I am in shock that you even said what you said. You’re like the left wing Daniel Pipes. What’s funny is how “certain” you are in your statements. Isn’t it funny how stupid an argument can be even if you start it off with “studies have shown”?

31. Yusef Milan - April 18, 2008

How nice for YOU that you were able to change into heterosexuality.

What are we talking about? A “light-switch”, here, where one day you’re gay — and the next you’re hetero, just because you found Islam?

How ridiculous. While other faiths have accepted SSA as an accepted part of human nature (the human experience, as we know it) — Islam is disinclined to accept ANYTHING outside of the Qur’an. That includes the acceptance of those of us — the disenfranchised, the forgotten, the trespassers, the lepers, the weak. What an outrageous proscription in Islam — ONLY ISLAM could come up with this nonsense.

Your faith is brutal, unforgiving, totally mis-guided — and CERTAINLY does not reflect REALITY. Get it? REALITY.

Homosexuals and bi-sexuals have been around for as long as mankind has — AND, guess what? There’s MORE BAD NEWS: homosexuality and bi-sexuality will STILL BE AROUND LONG AFTER YOU’VE left this planet. Got it?

YOU are not going to change it. Nor your mis-guided 90-year old Clerics — nor your ridiculous belief in something that can ONLY be described as a fairy-tale: something “invented” to keep men “in line” so that they don’t pillage, plunder and rape.

WHERE would we be without religion? Well, in a very DARK place. EXCEPT — religion HAS to embrace ALL OF US.

32. Jim Miller - April 20, 2008

Well, Yusef, I guess you hit the nail on the head.

Islam is the most prohibitive, unrealistic, unforgiving religion the world has ever known.

Why ANYONE would want to be a Muslim is a question that I could NEVER answer, being SSA.

According to the Qur’an (WRITTEN, I MIGHT ADD BY AN ILLITERATE MAN) and his “dreams” —- SSA’s will burn in hell. How ridiculous can it get?

Islam needs to get REAL, and come into the 21st Century. Enough of these old farts and their bullshit. Young Muslims NOW understand SSA and, if NOT embrace it — at least understand it. And there are several “queer Muslim” sites. Sorry — old farts. Your days are over.

Get with the PROGRAM, would you please?

33. Rasheed Eldin - April 21, 2008

Ah Yusef/Jim, how big and clever you are.

Haven’t you heard of IP addresses, which reveal that you are the same hateful Islamophobe – who, I may add, will not be allowed to comment here again.

May God help you.

34. wiki - April 23, 2008

i am affected by SSA and i think islam is a beautiful religion …

and NO it doesnot say that in the quran that “queers will burn in hell” .
Quran is NOT a homophobic book. Islam is NOT a homophobic religion. And certainly it is NOT a cruel or unforgiving religion.

35. RAHID - April 24, 2008

i’m a romantic sort of thing. my question is whether i can hold atleast a loving relationship.just with chats ,letters and ofcourse KISSES

36. Rasheed Eldin - April 24, 2008

Salaam Rahid,

That’s an interesting and important question, and to answer it we need to take things in steps:

1. As I think you understand already, Islam focuses on the matter of what we DO, not what we supposedly “are” because of internal feelings. So what we need to ask about are ACTIONS.

2. Some people assume that the only forbidden homosexual act is the “ultimate” one (to be explicit: anal sex). But of course all sexual acts are forbidden in the same way, if they are not between a married couple (i.e. man and woman). There may be varying degrees of sin in various actions, but that’s not really important for us to analyse just now.

3. So what if two men decide to have a full homosexual relationship without engaging in sexual acts? To find the ruling on this, we would have to understand the difference (and there must be one) between this and the acceptable form of brotherhood and friendship between two men. If they live together considering each other like “spouses”, then they are contradicting what Allah created them upon, and finding this form of romantic love – which belongs to marriage – in a way that is not sanctioned by our Creator.

4. But as for the specific things you mentioned: chats and letters fall into the idea I expressed in (3), but kisses are a much more clear-cut matter. There is nothing inherently wrong in a man kissing/hugging another in a brotherly way, but for you (as for any individual) it will be judged according to your intention. If you have lust in your heart, and you kiss in order to serve your desires and not as part of a healthy – halal – relationship, then no doubt it will be sinful.
[Of course, there are different types of kisses, so I can only answer according to the general wording of your question.]

Please feel free to ask if you would like more details on anything.

37. wiki - April 25, 2008

Rasheed Eldin :

now here you are forbidding something based on what the two men feel. If 2 men live together as spouse (but donot have sex) i would think that should be okay because both of them only “feel” love for each other in thier hearts but they do not act upon it because it is forbidden.

If i understand this site correctly, it is the act that is forbidden not feeling in love or being in love with another man.

If you say that this romantic relationship (with no sex) is forbidden then feeling anything for another man should also b forbidden … dont you think? it is only logical.

On one side this site states that ‘it is not a crime to feel attracted to another man but it is a crime to actually have sex with another man’ but here you said that these 2 men are going against what thier creator made them for. Then isnt the person who feels attracted to other men also going against his creator and thus that is a crime also? …

if only feeling attracted to other men is not a crime then this should not b a crime either … in both cases there is no sex or as call it “homosextual act” involved

38. Rasheed Eldin - April 26, 2008

Dear Wiki,
Your question is quite sensible but unfortunately you have misunderstood a core point, which I will try to make clearer here.

But in the first place, I should emphasise that I am not a scholar giving a fatwa, only a researcher and student of knowledge who is trying to encourage proper understanding. If someone really wants an authoritative opinion (because they are thinking of going ahead and doing something like this, and genuinely wish to know whether it is acceptable before Allah) then we here can facilitate getting a detailed response from a scholar (or more).

1. You seem to have missed the fact that living together is an ACTION, and so a person would be judged for that by Allah.

2. While we say that people are not judged for feelings alone, we don’t negate the role of internal thoughts/intentions in judgement, as the famous hadeeth says “Actions are only by intentions…”. So two men living together could either be in healthy brotherhood and so there is no sin in that, or it could be based on desire and evil intentions that contradict the Islamic teachings.

3. To emphasise: simply feeling a certain way is NOT considered “going against the Creator” because humans are not in complete control of their feelings. The question will always be: what do you DO with those feelings?

39. wiki - April 27, 2008

i am glad you understood what i was trying to say. Even if you do not agree with me i dont mind. You will probably will never agree to what i said and nor will i agree to what you said. No hard feelings! ok?

On another point there is one more thing i dont understand. And that is why do we think that sextual desires are bad or low desires? It is Allah who has given us those desires.

I can also try to convince you that sextual desires are not ‘bodily’ they are the desires of our soul. And here is my argument. You agree that after we die our body will remain in the grave and on the day of judment it is our soul that will go to hevan. If sextual desires were the need of your body or felt by the body then you should not be able to feel “sextual need” or sextual wants” in hevan BUT yet there is a reward in hevan that is based on ‘sex’ right? … this can only mean that it is our soul that feels the sextual desire not the body. Body feels pain and the soul feels sex….

This idea is totally in harmoney with the idea of pain in hell. If my knowledge it correct, in hell allah will give body life and then make the body feel pain untill you die again and then give life again so you pay for your sins.

When ever some muslim scholar lables sex as low desire it is as if calling one of the rewards of hevan a low desire … you sure are not going to marry all the hoors in hevan to have sex now are you? … i believe that this idea of sex as a bad thing comes from christianity and didnot exist in islam. Surely protecting ur virginity in islam is preffered but that is not because sex is a low desire!

40. Rasheed Eldin - April 27, 2008

Of course there is no harm in us disagreeing with each other, but to me it’s important that I would be convinced of your view if it’s well supported by evidence and reasoning, and similarly I hope that you have that attitude. Let me tell you, normally if someone told me that they won’t ever be convinced, I wouldn’t bother trying to convince them, until they come back with a less arrogant attitude! In your case, however, I don’t see you as like those people, but rather I think you have an active mind that is thinking over these issues seeking the truth. I hope that you will maintain that sincerity to Allah, and take on board the beliefs that are backed by His revelations, not just those that are appealing or interesting.

As to your point about the sexual urge not being a low desire, let me first of all clarify that “low” does not necessarily mean “evil”. If we look at how the great scholars of Islam described such things, they considered it an “appetite” like the need for food. Nobody says that food is evil, but there is such a thing as halal food versus haram, and there is such a thing as moderation versus excess. So the Prophet (s) said that the most evil vessel to be filled is the belly. That doesn’t contradict the many teachings about seeking and eating the pure things Allah has created!

So the points to focus on here are:
1. That this desire should be kept in check and not allowed to become rampant and controlling, otherwise we become like animals, led by our raw appetites rather than our rational minds.
2. That it should only be fulfilled in lawful things, otherwise it really is an evil urge, pushing us to disobey Allah. We should seek to tame those desires so that they in fact become directed towards the good and pure, and that is what we wish for in this life.
3. Sometimes they are called “lowly desires” in contrast with the “high desire” in the worship of Allah, seeking His pleasure rather than seeking pleasure in what distracts us from Him – even halal things!

As for your arguments about Paradise, I would point out that we cannot perceive what the rewards there will actually be like. So what Allah mentions in the Qur’an, and what His Prophet (s) taught, are only ways for us to imagine to the best of our limited minds, and long for that Place, and to strive for it through the difficulties of this life.

So when we read of there being “sex” in Jannah, that doesn’t mean that the same lowly desires of our earthly bodies still exist. It’s a way of understanding the ecstasy of the Hereafter by relating it to the most pleasurable sensation known by humans. As for the exact reality of that, it is Allah’s knowledge alone – until we get to experience it ourselves, and may He make us among those successful souls, ameen.

Finally, your point about marrying the houris in Jannah, well I see no difficulty in saying so, especially in the light of this verse:
{Thus we marry them to Hur ‘Een} 44:54

41. Walid - April 29, 2008

Looking in from the outside, being non Muslim, I read these pages in an impartially dispassionate manner.

While I can understand the rational behind Ayub’s reasoning, I fail to understand why Islam would call upon him to put aside any hope of a relationship during his time on this earth.

Surely Allah and his Prophet(s), in teaching that the rewards awaiting the faithful in Jannah are comparable to “the most pleasurable sensation known by humans” means for humans to experience those sensations, in all of the different forms they may take, including same sex attractions.

What worries me is that Ayub, by turning his back on his natural instincts (which are of course a natural or innate impulse, inclination, or tendency) will only become unhappy and depressed, eventually losing his way.

If he is attracted to other men then it would be a lie for him to have a relationship with a woman. Is he to grow old alone with no-one to love him or for him to love?

Or does Islam replace all relationships?

42. Rahid - April 30, 2008

Salaam Rashid, Let my ignorance be cleared first.Could you just relate the reasons why islam condemns homosexuality & ALL the disadvatages of it(i mean in the rational sense-whether both are the same ,i dunno)As for what you said in point no 3 ,i didn’t mean a livein relationship as “spouses” ;but with a wife as my life partner and a lover for emotional stability(how far it is possible &right ,i never know ,still…….something…cherished dreams ..probably).I have a suggesion,please include ALL those verses from Quran & Hadith related to this matter on the home page.I am happy that i have someone to ventilate (as i came across this site just a few days back)along with a weird desperation. thank you

43. Rasheed Eldin - April 30, 2008

Rahid, wa ‘alaykum as-salam.

Your question is fair, but unfortunately it’s not possible for me to attempt here to provide a comprehensive list, either of the evidences against homosexuality in the Islamic sources, or the wisdoms behind this prohibition. That seems like a worthwhile project, but it would be a big one!

This is a worthwhile introduction in sha’ Allah:

I’ll mention just that the nature of the prohibition of homosexuality is not limited to “don’t do anal sex”, but in fact is based on a number of aspects, including:

1. The creation of man and woman as pair-halves for each other, and the urge to marry to fulfil “half of faith”, to live in love and mercy, and to have children.
2. The prohibition of any sexual relations at all outside of this bond of marriage.
3. Closing of the many doors that can lead to infidelity to one’s spouse, either before marriage or during (many of these directly mentioned in the texts, and others derived by analogy).
4. The prohibition of perverting the nature on which humanity was created, and performing shameful and debasing acts.

When it comes to rational reasons, I’m all for exploring those in order to understand more fully, but for a Muslim, the textual evidence should be enough. There are plenty of things in religious teaching that we only partly understand, but we obey our Creator knowing that He knows best what is in our interests, and that success comes only through His obedience.

Now to come to your question about having a wife but also “a lover for emotional stability” – I’m afraid I don’t know how this could possibly lead to stability, cheating on your life partner? There is no harm in having close friends, with whom you share certain emotional things that you don’t with others (even your wife), but there are limits to this and you must be careful not to overstep. Is it not enough to have a brother and friend, rather than a “lover” – with whom you have no physical relationship? Can you explain what the difference is between the two, and that way we may both see it more clearly and be able to differentiate acceptable from unacceptable…

44. Rasheed Eldin - April 30, 2008

Dear Walid,

Thanks for your questions, although I’m always wary of someone who thinks he’s impartial! Bias is not a problem as long as we can recognise it in ourselves and deal with it justly.

The key to answering your questions is to realise that this life is not the domain of pleasure and fulfilment, but rather the ground of testing and patience. So while it is allowed for us to enjoy the lawful things of this world (including sexual relations), the limit will always be the boundaries that God has placed for us, namely His prohibitions. So not every type of sexual fulfilment is acceptable, meaning that if we choose to indulge in these (limited, temporary) pleasures using our free will, we will be held to account for that by God, and perhaps forbidden from the ultimate, complete, eternal bliss that awaits the steadfast in the Hereafter.

Your concern about depression etc. is obviously heartfelt, but it doesn’t recognise the liberation that comes from obeying Allah over one’s base desires. I’m familiar with the slogan “living a lie”, but obedience is the truth and it is everything else that is falsehood.

45. wiki - May 10, 2008

“…this life is not the domain of pleasure and fulfilment, but rather the ground of testing and patience.”

you can also look at this this way: “this life is a gift to us from allah and it will be a sin if we did not enjoy the good things allah created for us to the fullest.”

now the question what things are good and what are bad? honestly i dont have the answer to that. As an architect student i can tell you that one thing that is beautiful to one person may be annoying to the other. For example a ‘fountain.’ One can like the sound of the falling water and think it is beautiful but on the other hand someone else might think it is annoying and a distraction.

who is right and who is wrong? does there have to be a right and wrong?

46. Rasheed Eldin - May 26, 2008

Wiki, no offence intended, but if you don’t know how we can distinguish between good and bad, right and wrong, truth and falsehood, then you are missing the very basics of the understanding of a Muslim. I don’t believe that’s the case – rather, I think you can answer this for yourself.

The whole of our religion is based upon submitting to Allah, Who is the One to judge for us what is right and wrong. And all our questions go back to one source for their answers: the revelation. In other words, the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

There are abundant ayahs and hadiths that tell us about things that may be enjoyable but are wrong. Things that the Satan beautifies in the eyes of those who follow his deception. We can indeed be objective about these things, and make our rational minds lead our desires towards submission and obedience, not the other way round.

47. wiki - May 26, 2008

If islam’s name wasnt islam then it would be ‘the middle religion’ .
Islam takes a middle path in everthing it preaches. Being too good is just as wrong as being too bad. For example: if being good means telling the truth in your every day conversations then what do you do when the truth is so sad and devestating that the person u are talking too might get a heart attack and die? Islam allowes you to tell a lie in a situtation like this. See? middle path between good and bad is the right path

now the above is what i believe but you may not and shiya muslims may belive something else and a suni and a wahabi etc etc … which one of those is right? ….

If you claim that telling what is right and wrong is so simple and elementary in Islam then tell me who is right? shiya or suni or wahabi?

All of the fractions within islam follow a logical path but one logical path doesnt make sense to the muslim who is following a different logical path… which one is created by satan? can you tell me that?

Muhammed once said that “my Umma will never agree on what is halal and what is haram”. He also said that there will be 12 sections within my Umma

If Muhammed himself has said that we will not agree on what is right and what is wrong then why are we arguing about this? why dont we just accept each others differenes and get along because if we dont then we will never agree.

48. dontknowhy - May 27, 2008

wow! this is great. i am muslim and gay both at the same time. yeah its kinda cool to know that there is a StraightStruggle group. yes, i wanna join. but before that, to those who always say that Gay is so clearly punishable to death in Islam, do you guys really read the Quran? because i havent really ‘studied’ the Quran, so i cant say. I read an article from a scholar who gives more depth in this topic about gay in islam. during Prophet’s time, was there any gay case?i mean like two gays brought to him and he stoned them to death?was there a case like that? i only know that the first case was during caliph Ali (correct me if i am wrong) to the story of br Ayub, yeah the jihad is one thing, but why didnt u tell us and share with us what were the challenges? what were the events and incidents that make it possible for you to do it? i am so lost.. mainstream muslims always say that we have to follow sharia law. who studied the law anyway? how come the shariah law being implemented in one country differs from another? u will answer; it has to suit the local culture etc. so does that mean sharia law is flexible and not fixed? in todays world, ppl are using islam for their own benefits. some ppl are said to be championing islam, but what did they do? why muslims are mostly poor?uneducated?mistreated etc? why busy to bomb here and there? why not use the skills in designing space ship etc? (just an example) arghhhhhhhhhhhh…..sometime some muslim claimed this and that, and we have to remember, we have to evaluate and decide for ourselves for whats good and whats bad. i wonder what is the challenge for Shayk Yusof al Qardawi in his life (just an example of a high position aalim straight guy, it could be any one) ? as mine is this desire and lust to men. what would be his?and why everybody bothers and judging me for having mine? anybody knows and why nobody bothers about that? oh by the way, forgot to say that i agree with bravvooo and i think ‘woman’ is such a hypocrite. i really pity her gay acquaintances. and ‘woman’ really hates gay and thinks that it is alright. but she wouldnt agree if someone comes and says he/she hates muslim including herself and ‘woman’ would say that is an act of racism. if woman is really a good person, she should not act this way, for islam is all about tolerance and good manner. by calling gay names, ‘like infesting our society’, i am seriously offended. and you know what islam says? you could seek forgiveness from Allah for sins between u and Him, but for sins committed between humans, its up to those whom u had offended. correct me if i am wrong. i admit that i had this feeling and often questioned myself why??why me?? this is just too big for me….maybe it should have been tested on Qardawi instead….

49. Bravvooo! - June 17, 2008

Straight from the lab:

Homosexual brains differ in both anatomy and physiology to straight brains. It’s no sin, it’s nature. If I had my way I would suggest that “sin” would be seeking knowledge from outdated scriptures and imposing them on the rest of us with the arrogance of those who think they know what they’re talking about.


50. Anis Kotia - August 25, 2008

Achmet don’t give up. Try these things and tell us if they work:

1) Start to say Alhamdulillah, Astaghfirullah and Allahummahdini as often as you can whilst walking around the house / doing your chores.

2) Stop watching all films which are pornographic
3) Do not watch any scenes within films or tv programmes which are sexual or racy

4) As soon as you see anything which sexually attracts you to it, say Astaghfirullah and avert or lower your eyes.

5) Pray 5 times a day

6) Go to the mosque at least once a day to pray

7) Fast at least once a week…I think the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) would fast usually on a Thursday. If you feel the pangs growing, fast more regularly. (Warning: don’t fast too much that you become ill though)

8) Last but not least…never lose hope in the mercy of Allah…it may take a while to come but believe me it always does come. Remember what the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) said that if a slave walks towards Allah, He approaches them running.

51. Struggling Against Homosexuality, Finding Islam « Exploring Life, The Universe and Everything - February 18, 2009

[…] Eye on Gay Muslims ▶ Comment /* 0) { jQuery(‘#comments’).show(”, change_location()); jQuery(‘#showcomments a .closed’).css(‘display’, ‘none’); jQuery(‘#showcomments a .open’).css(‘display’, ‘inline’); return true; } else { jQuery(‘#comments’).hide(”); jQuery(‘#showcomments a .closed’).css(‘display’, ‘inline’); jQuery(‘#showcomments a .open’).css(‘display’, ‘none’); return false; } } jQuery(‘#showcomments a’).click(function(){ if(jQuery(‘#comments’).css(‘display’) == ‘none’) { self.location.href = ‘#comments’; check_location(); } else { check_location(‘hide’); } }); function change_location() { self.location.href = ‘#comments’; } }); /* ]]> */ […]

52. silentstrugge - August 30, 2011

if you are reading this and are looking for a way out and dont know where to start; please check out the following link;


you can download it is as a document or read online, it contains a lot of advice and guidance from an islamic persepective, to show you a way out of this sickness of the heart.

insha’allah it will be of benefit to you.

Please upload to other sites and share this link if you feel you gain anything from this book.

Jazak Allah

53. abdul - May 30, 2012

Muslims i need help becuase i dont know how on earth am going to get married. I definately dont want to marry a straight person and for obvious reasons, i also dont know where i could find a suitable muslimah with SSA, i feel it may be mission impossible. Am afraid of an embarassing and bleak future.

Rasheed Eldin - May 31, 2012

Salam Abdul,
These are tricky questions and there is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ answer. You may find a lot of benefit in joining the online discussion and support group at http://www.straightstruggle.com
May Allah take care of you and us.

abdul - June 5, 2012

Thanks Rasheed, may Allah reward you for your endeavours. Youve done a lot for the muslims, may Allah preserve you and give a noble and lofty station in jannah.

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