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“I feel dirty after prayer” July 26, 2006

Posted by Mujahid Mustaqim in Advice, Islam, Responses.

Someone wrote to the StraightWay Foundation with the following problem:

I don’t perform jummah anymore because of the teachings especially when it comes to gays. It is said to be one big sin and dirt and I always feel dirty after jummah please help.

Here is what I replied:

It is important to strengthen your faith in Islam, which means “achieving peace through submission (to Allah)”. Whatever Allah has decreed for us is best for us in this life and the Hereafter. The example of His Prophet (peace be upon him) is the sure path to His pleasure and reward.

Islam does not have teachings about “gays” – what do you mean by this word? If you mean what Islam says about people with same-sex attractions, then let me make clear that Islam does not teach that such people are any less in worth or in their potential to be close to God. The same-sex attractions (SSA) are merely a test in this life – however difficult, we know that this test is not too much to bear (see Qur’an 2:286).

However, Islam also teaches clearly that any sexual relations outside of marriage – and any sexual acts between two men or two women – are forbidden. Whoever feels tempted to commit such acts must restrain himself and seek refuge in Allah, who is the Most Merciful. If someone commits such sins, he or she should repent to Him in all sincerity, hoping for His vast forgiveness, and resolving to be more strong in the future.

Whatever difficulties you are going through, it is not advisable or acceptable to give up on the obligations of the religion. These are the things that will give you stability and open up the doors of guidance and mercy from the Almighty.

It is not the Jumuah prayer that should make you feel dirty. It is sin that stains us, and from which we must purify ourselves. The acts of worship are the means to this. Like the Prophet (peace be on him) taught, performing the ordained prayers is like taking a bath in a clear stream five times a day: just as the stream removes the physical dirt, the prayers clean us from the sins that we all commit.

Take care!


1. Yousef - July 27, 2006

In a point that might be related. If you notice, that alot of people when in public tend to prolong their prayers. Then, during this prolongation, they start doubting whether or not they are being hypocrites as they shorten their prayers when alone and prolong it when in public. It is said that when this happens, it is as though shaitan is discouraging you from prolonging your prayer, and it is through this prolongation that one will actually defeat shaitan.

Through a similar token…it is through your attendance and patience during jummah prayers that you will be able to overcome shaitan who is trying to convince you not to come!

2. zozo - August 6, 2006

well, im a gay living in an arab country, i would like to notify you muslim guyz in england that muslim philosophy and perspective about gay people in the middle east is soo conservative and not comprhended the way you guys do, its very primitive and offensive that would make a gay guy very sinfull and bad and must be punished and rejected by the whole society!!! well you have an open mind perspective about homosexuality cuz you are living in a country that made it easier for you to accept it but islam is very exclusive about it, specially here in the places of the origins of islam!!!!

3. talebhaqq - August 6, 2006

Salam Zozo,
It’s good to hear from you and I hope that this site helps you in the struggle. Just to let you know, the StraightStruggle Yahoo group includes people from all over the world. We do our best to keep the content on this site Islamically in tact. With God’s help, inshallah we will reach people in order to help them with their struggles. You are more than welcome to join the yahoogroup in order to share ideas about your struggle and perhaps you will find others in your country of residence as well as others in the rest of the world that you can help and receive help from in your struggles.
Please keep us posted on your struggles.

4. Rasheed Eldin - August 6, 2006

Zozo, I’m not sure you’ve understood our perspective. We don’t say it’s OK to “be gay”, whatever that means, but we maintain that Islam is against homosexual acts and that people who have same-sex attractions have to restrain themselves from acting on them. In this view, we are certainly not following the majority of people in our Western societies. But we believe we are promoting the correct view according to Islam – God knows best.

5. Masood Khan - August 21, 2006

Islam is the most comprehensive and the complete way of life. It offers solutions to all questions via Quran. Being a muslim is not just about reading the Kalimah. It is about understanding the meaning of Kalimah and then applying its perfect formula to the problems. Sexuality should not be the cornerstone of defining one’s life. It is rather a small spec in the structure of mankinds existence. God has laid down certain rules and guidelines for our benefits. Challenging those rules and guidelines means challenging God for his creation. I don’t think we are at all capable of doing that. But we do so, by our actions. There are certain things that God tells us to avoid but then there are other criteria that he forbids. One may get away by commiting acts that he has avoided us to do but certainly there is no escape for the forbidden ones. Anything that Allah has forbidden in the Quran is always related to mass human catastrophy and mankind. Therefore one should understand that Shirk can be commited in various forms. One of them is by directly challenging Allah for forbidden acts. So before one gets lured into homosexuality, he or she should understand that they are challenging and denouncing Allah and everything he has created. Like science says think outside the box and beyond the basic instincts. May Allah give you Hidaya and help you by removing the fog of deception created by society.

6. izo - August 31, 2006

can gay people have god forgiveness and enter heaven after wards?
or will they never be forgiven?

7. Taleb Haqq - August 31, 2006

Assalam-o-alaykom Izo,
Thank you for the comment. You see, there needs to be an understanding first of what you mean by “gay people”. Is it simply people who are attracted to members of the same gender? Or is it people who are actively having sex with members of the same gender? If someone is only attracted to members of the same gender and is dealing with it in such a way that pleases God (i.e. not giving into temptation and protecting his/her self from doing acts forbidden by God) then obviously there is no sin in this. On the contrary, this is part of our struggle against our selves.

However, acts such as having sex outside of marriage and, in this case, having sex with members of the same sex are forbidden by God and will be punished by God as a crime. With that said, just like anything else, God is the Most Merciful. If a person does these acts and then repents and struggles against them then he or she are eligable for God’s mercy…may we all be of those people God willing.

Just for everyone’s information, the above is not a “fatwa”, I am not one to give it. This is simply advice based on the general knowledge and understanding of Islam.

8. Qaz - July 31, 2007

im very ashamed to say this but i have SSA and find it very hard to control myself, Islam is the only thing that stops me from commiting such an act, i dont want this feeling but i cant help it, and its SO hard to stop, i really feel like im on the edge sometimes 😦

9. Taleb Haqq - July 31, 2007

Salam Qaz,
There are others that are dealing with this very same issue. Muslims who are fighting these urges and are struggling against them. There is a yahoogroup that you may want to join with others that are going through the same at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Straightstruggle
May God Help you and do keep in touch.

10. wazy - August 1, 2007

Qaz i guess we have got the same concerns .im youngster i have just converted to İslam a year ago i fell atract by amn since my chilhood but right now things are looking better despite the bad fellings that overcome me sometimes.i have several times regreted from the acts that i do.bot once again i commit them i gonna be clear i dont have any realtion but i ike to see photos of nude Man.help to keep my faith sometimes i felt that i have gone out of the realigion.sometimes i even think of giving up the Namaz.help my dear Brothers

11. Rasheed Eldin - August 2, 2007

Salaam brother Wazy, well maybe all I can say for now is that we understand and we’re here for you. Pornography is something that has a grip on so many young people, not only those who are struggling with SSA.

Sometimes the difficulty and frustration leads to depression, and that can stop a person from fulfilling his duties, like prayers as you mentioned. The key is not to let Shaytan trick you like that!

I hope we can help, but the best thing may be to join the group Taleb mentioned above. The basis of it is sticking to faith, and trying to find solutions through patience, understanding and mutual support.

12. Ralph Lee - December 12, 2014

Can anyone answer this question: Who will be mate for gay person??? Allah says in Qur’an that anyone and anything created with their mate. I am gay. When I was teenager, I had many times wet dream with man, not girl or woman. I kept praying to have wet dream with girl, never happened, not once. I tried to like girl, never did happen. I was so lonely, thinking to commit suicide. I was so sad when I felt in love with friend (male), always wanna be with him, but never expressed it.
I am a good looking, Alhamdulillah, many girls wanna be with me, but Mashaallah, they are not for me, but who for me???
I pray to be in heaven, but will I like woman?? I dont even like them in this world, if I am rewarded with heaven (Inshaallah) , I dont want gorgeous woman, I want man.

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