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“Are we going to Hell?” March 8, 2006

Posted by Mujahid Mustaqim in Advice, Islam, Religion, Responses, StraightWay.
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BY MUJAHID MUSTAQIM

On one of the many e-groups set up for Muslims questioning their sexuality (most of which started with good intentions, then were not maintained, and now consist mostly of spam and hook-up requests), someone asked the question below. It is followed by the response of another member, and below that is my response. I tend not to reply to everything on those groups (since it could be more effective to focus on our own groups), but occasionally I put out detailed summaries in the hope that our basic ideas (i.e. our understanding of Islam over these issues) will reach people who need that perspective. The users obviously come from a wide range of backgrounds in terms of location and mother tongue.

Asalamalejkom I wonder will we enter hellfire because we have this problem. Me I’m attracted to TS women. Are we kafir who involved in this? Was there no people in Mohammed (SAW) time who had this?

Response from another member: 

Walaikum As Salaam:
I don’t have any answers. What I feel I know is that Allah is love. Allah’s creation is immense and diverse. Homosexuality has been a part of the diversity of creation since before the Prophet (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him). And we are here to learn from one another, and thereby gain insight into ourselves. I know that the Quran has been interpreted and misinterpreted to suit personal and political agendas. And I also know that only Allah knows who will enter hellfire. So that said, I think that if we feel the Quran can provide a healthy blueprint for life then it has to be inclusive of all times and all peoples. It’s got to be bigger than what we choose to focus on at any given point in history. 

Assalaamu ‘alaikum,

I hope I don’t offend anyone, but I thought it worth pointing out the potential problems with discussing Islamic teachings in such broad terms that we could be swept away by mistaken notions and cultural/moral ideas that develop in contradiction to our religion and way of life.

When seeking answers, we should acquaint ourselves well with the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace be on him). We are all in need of more knowledge.

We can only describe Allah by the names and attributes He has revealed to us, among which is the Loving (Al-Wadud), but not Love. It is Christians who often use the expression “God is Love”, but I am not sure what this really means. Unfortunately there are some people who abuse this notion. While God is Loving, Merciful and Forgiving, He is also Just, and severe in punishment for those whom He chooses to punish. Let us pray always for refuge in His Mercy from His Wrath.

As for this idea of homosexuality being part of the “diversity of creation”: the Qur’an states clearly [see 7:80-1] that homosexual acts (men approaching other men with desire rather than women) were not practised at all before the people to whom the Prophet Lut was sent (peace be on him). Furthermore, the categories of diversity celebrated in the Qur’an include gender, colour, language and nationality, but this concept of “sexual orientation” is absent there, as well as from any literature until very recently, springing from novel Western ideas of sexuality.

So let us all put aside “personal and political agendas” in tackling the question from our brother. Will people enter hellfire because they experience same-sex attractions? I agree with the point made that nobody but Allah knows who will enter hellfire. So the real question we seek to answer is: is it sinful to have same-sex attractions, or to act upon them?

Scholars have answered these questions in some depth, and I have tried to reproduce some of these answers. In brief, let me reassure you that a person is not held to account (and therefore not sinful) for feelings he or she experiences, or whom they are attracted to. Someone with same-sex attractions (SSA) is no less worthy in the sight of Allah than someone who does not experience this particular test from Him.

However, all actions carried out on the basis of homosexual desire are sinful to one degree or another. Any sexual relations outside marriage are major sins, and in contexts where Shari’ah is being applied, could justify the severest worldly punishment too. A person with SSA is required to abstain from any such actions, and to struggle against the lower urges of his soul. He should also seek a path of holistic purification/healing to overcome the desires, and perhaps solve the root issues behind them. This is not easy, and not possible for everyone. But Allah is merciful and ready to support those who strive for His sake.

As for the question about being kafir (disbeliever): this does not apply on the basis of mere feelings, nor even based on sinful actions. Unfortunately there are some people who, by their attitudes towards Islam’s teachings and persistence in sin after being warned, will indeed depart from the fold of Islam. Our duty to them is to continue to advise them in the hope that they will return. But as long as you maintain sincere belief in Allah’s words and strive not to fall into sin, there is no question of you committing kufr, and we seek refuge in Allah from such a disgrace.

I hope these few words may have given some benefit.

Your brother,
Mujahid Mustaqim

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Comments»

1. John Doe - March 22, 2006

Well you know, the test isn’t whether you can forget your true feelings and live a straight life, the test is to see if you will still be a strong believer in god. Ex. “God will throw all gays in hell, i am gay, i will go to hell, there can’t be a god”

2. Rasheed Eldin - March 22, 2006

Well, “John Doe”, what reason have we to accept your version of theology? Nobody should claim to have an exclusive right to the truth, but what we need to do is explore the sources to find the answers. As Muslims, our criteria are the Qur’an and its embodiment in the way (Sunnah) of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him).

3. Kaboom - March 28, 2006

Can you honestly said that putting your penis up another man 's rectum will not land you in HELL???
You should get your brain checked(if you have a brain that is?)

chris dickinson - June 14, 2011

men have been putting their penis anywhere it is convenient for all of history. in jamaica, they have a saying “before women were invented, men pushed their cocks between 2 rocks and sat there quite contented.”

Rasheed Eldin - June 26, 2011

Amusing, but what is the point here? We believe that man and woman were created to complement one another and fulfil intimacy as one aspect of this earthly life. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that a man will be rewarded for his intimacy with his wife. His companions were surprised at this, so he pointed out: “If he put it in a forbidden place, would he not earn a sin? So likewise, in a lawful place he will be rewarded.” You can take this literally or as a reference to directing his instinctual desires.

4. straightway - March 31, 2006

Kaboom, I wonder if you read this post, or understood what I am saying. We are not talking about the act of anal intercourse, but the questioner raised the issue of same-sex attractions, or in other words, homosexual FEELINGS. While these present a problem, they cannot be called sinful, since feelings are not something on which we are judged (thank God for His mercy!).

It is only on the basis of actions (i.e. sinful ones) that someone may be punished by the Almighty, and that would be according to His decree. So He may choose to forgive whatever He wills (and He has stated in the Qur’an [4:48] that He may forgive anything except worshipping others beside Him).

Anal intercourse is, of course, among the most major of sins in the sight of Islam. However, even that is something that Allah may forgive, and that is especially the case if the one who does it turns to Him in repentance. When Allah forgives, it is as though the person never committed the sin. Indeed, He may transform the person’s evil deeds into good. So why make out that someone who sins is condemned to Hell? May God protect us all.

5. very confused brother - August 1, 2006

I’ve been having gay urges (same sex attraction) too. I just want to make things clear. So the truth is that you wont be punished for urges, but you will be punished for actually going and having sex with another man, unless you truthfully and willingly repent.

But my question is what about masturbation? If one masturbates to prevent himself from actually having gay intercourse, is it a sin? Masturbation itself is a sin, i know that, but can it be justified as prevention of a greater sin? Also, how is it that one can have in mind that he can always repent afterwards even if he has gay sex? Wouldnt that make his repentance incincere? Thus he would still be punished.

6. talebhaqq - August 2, 2006

Assalamu alaikum dear VCB,
To start off with, I know what you are feeling. My contribution towards this site comes from someone (myself) who is dealing with SSA. You are not alone in your struggle, there are many others just like us who are dealing with SSA in order to please Allah and to live a life that they are satisfied with. Some have even married and have children and are living a very fruitful life alhamdu liLlah (Praise be to God).

If you are interested in sharing your feelings and ideas anonymously, you can join the StraightStruggle group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Straightstruggle/

In terms of your question on masturbation, I am not a mufti myself to give rulings but it might be useful for you to read the following:

http://straightway.sinfree.net/rulings/fatwas4.htm

I look forward to hearing from you.
May Allah guide us on our journey.
Assalam o alaykum

7. Rasheed Eldin - August 2, 2006

I’m also not a mufti, but I offer the following as a piece of advice. Masturbation, according to most scholars, is a sin. Sometimes committing such a sin could be ‘justified’ if it prevented you from a greater sin (which fornication most definitely is), but that shouldn’t make it seem perfectly acceptable in your eyes.

If it was done out of desperation, then we hope that Allah would forgive it, but the person should also ask His forgiveness for it, and ask for strength from Him to get out of the difficult situation.

I personally think that although masturbation could help a person temporarily to stay away from greater sin, in the long run it only makes the problems worse, since the sexual urge is still being fulfilled in an unnatural way. If it was accompanied by looking at dirty images, then maybe the association between sinful things and sexual pleasure will increase in the mind of the person, such that he becomes even more attracted to committing those sins.

8. Rasheed Eldin - August 2, 2006

As for the question about sincerity of repentance: you’re right, it’s not good to have the attitude of “I’ll do this sin then repent”, but that doesn’t mean such an attitude absolutely negates sincerity. If the person is sincere at the time of repentance, then we hope that this is acceptable: but at that time, he should resolve not to return to the sin. That is one of the conditions of true repentance.

But I think the key point (and what Mujahid was really getting at) is that nothing should close the door to repentance: nobody should despair of God’s mercy:

“Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls! Never despair of the mercy of Allah. Verily, Allah forgives all sins [as He pleases]: Indeed, He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” [Qur’an 39:53]

9. Ali - January 9, 2007

Dear friends,

First of all I thank Allah the great that I came across this website. I am thanking Him because I have been struggling against sins since I turned 16. But I have never found ‘friends’ with whom I could discuss these issues. Most of the like minded people I came across were lustful and not interested in ‘discussing’ the problems. Thanks to Allah again that He saved me from their lust.

I have nothing to add to the above. But I wonder if anyone here would become my friend and guide me to fight my desires. Or may be we can both help each other.
My msn is avocat.de.londres@hotmail.co.uk

10. Taleb Haqq - January 10, 2007

Assalam o alaykum Ali,

Alhamdu Lillah for finding the website. You will probably want to consider joining the Straight Struggle yahoo group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/StraightStruggle

It’s a group for Muslims dealing with Same-Sex Attractions.

May Allah be with you on the journey.

11. ahmad baker - October 11, 2010

aslam alkum dear bro’s .yes i’m a gay muslim & not happy abt it at tall. When i was 9 i was sexually abused by much older guy and his voliation of my body went on 4 a few yrs sometimes i even let him well not tht i enjoyed wut he was doing cuz any 9 yrs old who been throu wut i been throu ‘d tell u it hurts like hell but cuz i was lonly then and i no dad or older bro to fill the gap in my life i there4 was an easy prey 4 this prevert he preteded 2 be my close older bro he bought me stuff and stood up 4 me when other guys wanted to bully me to and to me he realy was the heaven sent sweet lovin older bro but i to him was just a lil emotionaly hungry brat thus 4 many yers he tarnished my self image and destroyed my self esteem and my dignity rippin me off my respect 4 my self so wut i as a 9 yr old thought to be brotherly love was no more than a crime against a child thro sexual exploitation of the highest degree. Today im 24 and still caught up in the past i really wanna go bk to being normal again i just dunoo how

Rasheed Eldin - November 5, 2010

Wa ‘alaikum as-salam dear Ahmad,

I commend you for finding the strength to talk about these tragic events, and the crimes that were committed against you.

We pray that Allah gives you the strength and guidance to move forward in your life, as you can’t live forever as a victim.

You might find it helpful to talk through these issues with a trained counsellor and/or a group of people with similar experiences, especially if such people can help understand things in the light of the Qur’an and Prophetic Sunnah.

The link provided in the comment above yours could be an excellent first step in sha’ Allah.

12. sam - May 7, 2013

help me im only 13 and im scared to go to hell god why its not my fault i have this.. will i got to heaven if i dont get a boyfriend????

Rasheed Eldin - May 7, 2013

Dear Sam, I pray you reach heaven having spent your youth and adulthood in obedience to God. Nobody goes to Hell because of their inner feelings, but what matters is what you do, and the choices you make in life. May God give you strength to face the test.

13. Ralph Lee - December 12, 2014

Hi Sam,
Hope you are feeling well. I am now 36, but I felt what you are feeling. I experienced my self. It’s difficult, and it will get worse and worse, so be prepared. It is a bumpy ride of life.
For me, to finally accept who I am, then I could be happy.
Embrace yourself, try to be a better and better human being. Love is a blessing, and God is loving.


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